It is almost 5 years since I arrived in Japan. I am in the process of extending my work visa (hopefully for another 5 years), which reminded me of how long I’ve been in Japan. Now might be a good time to start blogging more often on my personal website. In fact, I’m thinking of redesigning the website and throwing out some content (like my half-done side-projects). I probably won’t do it, but it’s a thought I keep coming back to.

In the past 5 years, I saw AI technologies emerge suddenly. I’m not particularly concerned about whether AI will replace my skills as an illustrator or programmer. My art and codebase aren’t that good anyway. :P I’m more worried about how my website will be scraped by AI technology and used without my permission. However, I’m also a little bothered by how many groups (Facebook, Twitter) who are now posting AI illustrations on a regular basis. It’s really easy to tell when the images all have very similar style and are uncredited. However, it’s still depressing to see how widespread AI-related content is being posted online.

Oh, speaking of Twitter, it’s called “X” now? I feel bad for deadnaming the website, but I really loved Twitter for what it was. The iconic blue bird, the unique name and well-moderated community… Now it’s just filled with bots and vocal extremists. It’s a little sad, but things change, and I have to embrace that.

A lot of big events happened too. Just yesterday, there’s something happening with the world economy. Something about Japan and “carry trade” causing a huge market plummet. There’s also the near-assassination of a certain politician. The world is going nuts. Or perhaps it has always been nuts; The internet just made such news more accessible.

I also notice that there are less Japanese artists online nowadays. New ones sprang up, but older ones have somehow disappeared. In fact, one of my Japanese artist friend (the only friend I personally know, sadly) has removed all their online presence. Twitter, Pixiv and a few other Japan-only accounts were completely deactivated. It could be to remove their art from being used for AI art generation. Or maybe it’s because online piracy has gotten so rampant, they’ve given up on posting online. They won’t even reply to my messages on LINE. It could be personal circumstances, but whatever the case, it’s sad to see that good people are just disappearing from the internet.

Now that I think about it, I sort of disappeared from the internet too, right? The only recent things you can find about me are this website, and my sporadic Twitter posts. My Tumblr, DeviantArt, Instagram, Pinterest and every other account have been left untouched for months, if not years.

None of my old internet friends keep in touch with me anymore. I tried reaching out to a few people, but they either ghosted me or were uninterested in holding a conversation. Perhaps, some things are best left as a good memory of the past.

In an attempt to get out of my seclusion, I started attending local indie game meetups. I even briefly talked with the creator of Anodyne, who is a very cool guy! There were so many amazing people there, with their decades of expertise in game, art and design. Some younger, some older than me. It made me realize that my past 5, or 10 years, have been mediocre at best. Underwhelming. I certainly am not the person my younger self hoped to be. I’m a embarassed. What happened to me?

Anyway, self-pity won’t do any good for me. The kind people I met at the indie game meetup have mostly encouraged me to restart something about my hobbies. Gamedev, comics, illustration, anything. Perhaps I’ll try that. I hope to have more positive things to write in my next blog post. Until then!